Haiku bee doo bee doo!

So, what would you do with £500 ($912.96 for my Canadian readership) to spend? Well, £495 to be precise – 99% off £500 in spending – they aren’t just giving money away! That is the prize that bview.co.uk are offering to the best entry describing what you would do with the windfall. So, without further ado, here is my official entry:
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glowing sun on face
seat for resting your tukis
good patio cheer

What? That wasn’t clear? I am surprised as haiku is unambiguous and concise by nature. Has my sarcasm come through the keyboard successfully? “So why the haiku then?” you may ask. I read somewhere that if the entry was in the 5-7-5 poem format I may have a slight advantage, and I will take any advantage I can get.

For those not attuned with Japanese poetry, here is a translation of how I would use the winnings…

New arrivals to the UK, Cindy and I have a great home with a wonderful patio and beautiful garden out back. With the recent arrival of spring, we are tempted out our back door to the warm air and cooking on the new grill – an old-school Weber charcoal grill, of course. However, our patio is missing something – furniture! I want to share my newly found grilling abilities with friends, but I feel ashamed of our naked patio with nowhere to sit. I also feel that it would be rather rude to ask people to sit on the ground and so I need some help from bview.co.uk. How are we to make new friends in our new country without proper outdoor seating arrangements? Pretty difficult task in my eyes. I know bview.co.uk can help because I see Garden Furniture World is one of their merchants; seems like a match made in heaven. Come on, help a brotha out!

During my in-depth research for the competition, I also came across some other helpful hints for winning. So here are the poetic annexes to my official entry.

in a time of need
distressful situation
safety goat saves day

safety goats needed
land of less to produce them
with first world wages

Even if I don’t win, I expect my Capra aegagrus hircus of shelter in the mail some day. (look it up)

Tags: bview.co.uk, furniture, haiku, patio